Smile once if you feel its right,

Smile twice if you think its suffice,

Smile a third time just because……

its nice :p

Hello and good morning good blog reader, this is Moon. Surprising I feel the best time to write is during the early hours of the morning when everyone is peacefully sleeping away waiting for a new day. Too bad insomnia and being a maniac hypochondriac tends too keep me wide away during these hours of the day. Today I am here to write about a simple realization that occurs once in every two alcoholic beverages or to the point where your face gets that numb feeling but you can still remember where you are. That realization my blog readers and numerous fans meaning probably no one is the idea of love. Yeah yeah i know cheese topic… but lend a listening ear please to what I am about to blog. Over the past years I have loved and lost, well technically not loved many but loved one and lost many. Love is a hard thing to replicate, its a hard thing to be for sure you have when you have, with whom you are having it with. I, myself, find it hard to love for I never find the right person for me, but that is just me as a person… an emotionally unattached person. I realized something, though. How can a person with no history of a successful relationship give advice to people who are in love now… or believe they are in love. And the answer is I can’t. Recently, I been remembering nostalgic times where I was actually passionate about something and it makes me sad that over the years I lost it to pessimism and feeling that it was ok to be lost and forgotten in a crowd. I think the day my heart got broken was the day i stop really caring for things, caring for me and my future, and I became disoriented. I always told myself that concentrate on your career and think about your future, but then why am I still dating people? Why am I giving a false hope to people that want to be or want to try something with me? And I know why…I wanted to feel that passion again, I wanted to regain something I lost a long time ago and in hopes of doing so I would find a girl that would be able to do that for me. But is that silly? Is that being to naive and immature? Like a fairy tale will work backwards and I will find my princess charming? and after all this time of thinking and moping over the answer, the answer I finally came up with is yes it is silly. Love is for some, I know because I see all around me people holding hands, kissing cutely in the quad, calling each other and hugging so deeply the warmth is felt by those around them, that love and I realized that I can never be like one of those people. People say I am a nice guy and they wonder why I don’t have a girlfriend and the reason isn’t because I am a pimp who enjoys sex, its not because I haven’t found the right girl, its because I can’t be something I am not because I am too set in my ways as a person. I maybe called the nicest guy in the world, but it is true what they say with a little bit of altercation to the statement, ” Nice guys finish last, because nice guys can’t care for just one person.” and that is the sad truth. It is my truth and unless I find someone that can understand that….I will always be one. Hello and good morning.

So the story so far as we know it… the main character has taken a liking to a girl, the weather and seasons are changing, the main character has gotten off a week of amazing hell and is feeling the after maths of escaping from the hellish week. The main character is a boy… young, ignorant simple minded but enjoys life. He uses sarcasm to the point where it even annoys the fuck out of himself sometimes. He uses the sarcasm as a tool to cut through all the bullshit and all the crap that goes on in the world on a daily basis to make the people around him smile as well as himself. Of course who goes through life being so serious? WHY SO serious? I guess the boy, always joking and playing around never really prioritized what was important and what he wanted until this girl came into his life. The boy thinks of things and faces things that he kept deep within himself, feeling that no one would understand his madness, his strangeness and his undoubtablely crude sense of humor. But anyways enough of this emo shit.

I do want to rant about one thing before i sink into another emo hole where i comb my hair to the left side of my face and wear dark ass make up…. that is the ability to avoid their problems instead of taking them head on. I realize this when i was studying with a friend and all she talked about was getting high this, getting high for that, etc etc. She is not a chronic pot smoker which doesn’t piss me off, but it makes me think about ppl who use drugs, recreational drugs to run away from their problems. Honestly, we say we are mentally strong people who live in our society when in actually we are the biggest chicken shits in the world. Don’t get me wrong, people that use drugs to relieve physical pain is fine, it’s the ones that use it everyday that really get on my nerves. The one’s that have nothing to be sad about, or worried about, the ones that are given everything and yet turn into these arrogant pricks of people who are dumber than the dog shit they stepped on in the park. Those are the people should get slapped repeatedly with a big brown floppy rotting deer carcass. Vivid huh? Sigh… i think i should stop while i am ahead I am writing this blog entry purely on frustration and anger towards life… which is the gayest reason to write a blog anyways Hello and goodnight.