Hello all you readers out there,

This entry is going to be different. I feel the need to write for my heart is about to burst out my chest. This entry is about love. I know over the passing months I have written about love and loss and how people can be so annoying when telling me their love stories and sober “BUT I LOVE HER MAN” ideals. I never truely understood there sad juxataposition until now. My beloved just left today. I drove her to the airport, stared deeply into her eyes and kissed her. But the feelings of her leaving didn’t hit me until the ride home. It started out as unconsious welding of tears within my eyes. A short but noticable lip quiver here and there. When i got back to my cold, empty apartment, i realized something very deep within me…I was alone again. As I was a year ago, I was in the same position I was. A whole 360 turn around. My love of my life was gone and all that was left was the ghostly images of my memories. I entered into my room to find a neatly placed card on my desk and a sewn doll of a puppy comforting the note. Slowly I read the words and I could feel as if I couldn’t hold the tears back any more. One second being calm and composed to being a babbling brook or a broken dam of tears and unmentionable muffled words. I missed her…I missed her sooo much….To calm my nerves, I laid down for a nap, but even in my dreams I revisted a happier time where she would call my name along with the words “I love you my jagi.” When i woke from my slumber those warm, compassionate words drifted off into the dead silence of my apartment. Do I feel useless without her? Can I not be productive without her? Will I lay down and die and metamorph into a spoil kid whose lost its favorite toy? No…I will not. I promised my beloved that i would acoomplish so much within this next year. I swore upon each breath, each heart beat that I would study very hard so I could see her again. The sadness will pass yes…, but for now it feels like a million needles slowly piercing my heart and my stomach. I will see her once again…a changed man, a better man because she has made me one. Rememeber, Love is a many spendor thing, but when we lose sight of our goals and ambitions that love can not flourish without a strong individual for it to live in… My jagi I love you and will see you again…. Goodnight and see you soon